WHY, NOT MY WAY?

Anita Simson

Manager – Human Resources

Towell Mattress & Furniture Industry

 

WHY, NOT MY WAY?

Why things don’t work my way, why it gets delayed beyond my patience? And, why things don’t turn out as I expected? To sum it up- Why, not my way?

These questions keep popping in everyone’s’ minds some day or the other. How much ever sober we must have evolved, these questions do keep popping out, when things don’t turn our way. Today, once again, these questions have busted in my  head. Yepp, by once again, I mean- whenever something doesn’t work for me, especially when I’ve worked my heart out, these doubts have to pop out.

And, today is that day. I thought I have changed- now such petty things don’t disturb me. I am completely doing justice to my role. And, by transforming myself to a HR professional, my thinking and beliefs have had a 360 degree shift. I think, speak and act as a HR professional, where things have been always carried out keeping the organizational goal on the top. And, to reinforce the said belief, I re-quote my current boss You are not here to please everyone, make everyone happy. You are not here to be liked or loved. Your role has to be commended. Know your job, your role and act wisely”. [Taught me to be objective].

And, I tried to get into the same mold- that my boss has created for a HR professional. Understanding the fact, that the organization needs a strong administrator, I mounted myself in the space created by the organization and started changing the policies for betterment. As expected, encountered few resentments from the employees, the so-called colleagues for whom I was a harmless HR till yesterday. But, when I started questioning to all their nonsenses, they suddenly felt that I was bullying or taking advantage of the position.

Yet, I solaced myself saying that ‘You need to be bold, considering the job profile you chose- it is a dirt clearing job, but ain’t dirty!. So let’s do it and try to find some  exciting ways of doing it…

And then… I did it… I mean I nailed it…. Started by introducing with an Attendance system to create and maintain Time management and an accurate disciplined overtime computation system. I believe everything starts with a disciplined life. And, then grudges started pouring in, as people around here were not accustomed to be organized.

This day is quite frustrating, as after putting all the efforts to project the organizational goal on priority, I was diminished as a personal aggressor for the culprits. Today, as frustration is mounting up, I allow myself to reach the peak of frustration. Frustration, as they say, blocks all the possibilities of thinking and venturing the new promises. I don’t want to think about anything now and would like to stay here- at the ‘frustration zone’ for a while…

Now, I need to come back… wake up Anita… you can’t stay ‘there’ forever. The real world is calling me back… I need to come back like a phoenix bird… rising from the ashes. No… I’m not exaggerating… this is how I felt a little while ago. I recalled the motivational speech that gave a clear idea about frustration- how it grows, how it stays and how it ruins you. It was said that you, being the master should have control on all the emotional stuffs in you. Frustration will mount up ONLY and ONLY if you allow it to. Frustration will stay with you ONLY and ONLY with your permission. And, in no way, I like the company of frustration and I do not want to be a victim of frustration- I remember this every single time life turns its back on me.

A long read Zen story also comforted me…

“A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.

The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.

Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.

The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.

Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

I thought- holding onto resentments- the only person I am really hurting is myself. Why to do this?

Today- is that day ‘out of frustration day’… I call it this way… celebrate this. No- I am not rewarded for any of my doings. Don’t get me wrong. Nobody has ever realized that ‘there was a real mess yesterday’. And, after maturing to this stage, I don’t even expect this from anyone. Again, it’s my job to get me out of this. Let’s start afresh.

Obviously, lately but confidently, this time I have developed an aura of calling ‘spade a spade’ and could identify things in black n’ white. Evolving as a HR professional, this has become a second nature and on anything that crosses the path- an eye is lend to identify things lying in gray area. I have acquired this skill of balancing emotional  vs. intelligent quotient effort fully over a period of time. And, I am NOT going to give up this quality for a bargain.

You can’t- in fact, no one can pull me out of this. I have determined that I’ll continue to be a breathing HR. I do not want to take out any of my qualities just because the wrongdoers don’t agree to me.

Wearing the HR hat, I really care to preserve the most eminent and obligatory skill of seeing through things. The fact is to keep the Organizational objective on the top! I’m excited, I could do this, as this was not possible when I was an immature HR professional. Now, I understand- I could rather change the plan than the goal.

Today, I comprehend one more thing- there’s a reason for everything… what comes your way and what doesn’t… You need to figure out the right way out of it. And, to  my understanding, I realized one thing that any changes should be brought-in gradually and one need to prepare others to accept it. This is again, where you say  that you need to sell your concepts to others. It’s not that these points were overlooked, but were not paid detailed attention, considering the complicated and confused personalities around you.

Here, I speculate – I got the answer- Why, not my way? Ok… I guess it would be easier and smoother the next time.

What you guyz think and do when things don’t work your way? What does ‘frustration zone’ mean to you? Awaiting your response… place yourself in my HR boots…

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