Billy Paul Ebenezer
Consultant – Center for Behavioural Excellence
Be assertive to get what you want, effortlessly!!!
“I need an ice-cream, Daddy”
“Buddy, I felt hurt by what you said yesterday”
“Darling, can you please make love slowly, it is quite painful”
“I am afraid I won’t have time today to work on this project”
“I believe your idea may not be accepted by the client”
“I think I am long overdue for a promotion”
Do you find yourself at ease to express all you wish to say? Do you always get what you want without raising your blood pressure? Whether it is a teenager or a seasoned professional, everyone struggles from time to time to express their thoughts and feelings in an appropriate manner. Either we express too much and deny the rights of others, or we express little to nothing and deny our own rights. Either way, the outcome of these interactions leads only to stress and unproductive work.
The key to leading a meaningful and productive life, where you effortlessly get what you want is to be assertive, and not aggressive or passive. Assertiveness is expressing your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly without denying the rights of others. Oftentimes, we are not assertive because we assume communicating the truth will inconvenience the other person. However, what we don’t realize is speaking anything other than the truth, even by remaining silent, will have far-reaching consequences.
To communicate assertively, one must have a healthy view about themselves and the other person(s) involved in the communication. Assertive communicators aren’t afraid to express themselves because they aim for a win-win solution in every encounter and interaction. Besides, assertive communicators get what they want due to the enormous respect they command by being open,honest, and respectful in their communication.
Do you want to be treated like a doormat? Do you wish to be ignored? If not, then stop being passive where you cede to every demand; and stop being aggressive by forcing things your way. Instead, speak your mind loudly yet softly. Who knows, perhaps, your boss was just waiting for you to become assertive before awarding you that long-awaited promotion!